hmmm... this only really makes sense if you used to watch 'the crystal maze' and know who richard o'brien is.

a blind ferret fighting a badger... obviously.

they say 'life begins at 40', but i think this sort of undermines all the evidence there seems to be supporting the existence of babies.

(it also confuses the whole abortion debate by implying that it's technically morally okay to kill anyone under 40. who comes up with these sayings?

... people trying to comfort 40 year olds i imagine)

happy christmas everyone!

some stickers i made once.

hmmm... i feel like i have to do something amazing today to turn this blog around. feels very strained at the moment. the filters i used to employ to sort out the good from the shit don't seem to be working so well at the moment - like they're damaged or something. i'm hoping they're just on their cigarette break and will join me again shortly.

part of me feels to take down the posts i don't really like or am a bit embarrassed by, but another part feels that this would somehow be dishonest in a way. this whole 'blog' thing is very strange anyway - it's a bit like keeping a private diary, then getting massive photocopies of it and leaving them up all over town, slipping them under people's doors etc.

maybe i'm just doing it wrong. it definitely needs to funnier and less self-pitying.*

maybe i should write out a manifesto.


MY MANIFESTO:

• Live each day to the fullest!
• Life is beautiful! Give it a kiss! Go on!
• Try something new and exciting everyday! (like learn a new skill, or have that wank in the library that you always wanted!)
• When life gives you lemons, use them to throw at people you don't particularly like!

 and so on...


(* in much the same way 'sarcasm is the lowest form of wit', i imagine self-pity to be 'the lowest form of pity.')

  abu hamza     

      

there's something 

i like about this, 

but i'm not sure what.

i think it's her hat.

interesting fact: in a parallel universe, 'guy fawkes' is actually called 'bird spoons.'


(i know this doesn't really work, but i don't care - i'm not having a very good day today.)

winter and summer:

such good friends, they often cover each others shifts (at least in england anyway)

my last couple of stand up gigs have felt like a bit of a struggle. i don't know... i guess a bad workman blames his tools.

i've always been a bit of a tool, so i blame the audience.

stupid audiences not laughing because i haven't been funny enough.

gary: aged 7

gary: aged 17

what went wrong, gary? what the hell went wrong?

my sister really embraced coeliac disease - i guess she's just a gluten for punishment.


(hate mail to the usual address. thank you.)

some of this blog is starting to become a bit dark and weird, so i thought i'd add some pictures of dogs i drew to try and lighten the mood a bit.

here you go:

... unfortunately, because these pictures are fairly old and dogs don't tend to live that long, all dogs featured here are now probably dead.

sorry.

when i initially did this, the idea was that the sea captain was on his way to gimp island - you know, to capture some giant king-kong sized gimp and bring it back to civilisation for people to gawp at.

i then suddenly became painfully aware that shia labeouf might try and sue me for using his life story... so i didn't.

... you will have absolutely no idea what i'm on about until you read this after it, even though i wrote it at the same time.

i also don't care that you can't start a sentence with 'because.'

damn... social media has really fucked up the way we read things.
because the chronology of it is so counter intuitive to how we actually process and take in written information, i'm going to finish my point in the paragraph above and...

i really need to go to sleep, but i don't want to.

i was going to write a story for this, set in a dystopian future after the great doctor wars of 2536, where everyone hates owls, but somehow they have evolved legs and arms and medical abilities, and, they are the only general practitioners left on earth.

people come to see the owls and ask them for medical help, but they are also very rude to them because they don't like owls.

as you can imagine, the future is full of tension.

i presume the octopus is his dad and is giving him a model ship for his birthday, but i can't be 100% certain until i ask one of them.

i like to think batman got bullied at school.

i'm still not really sure how to use this thing. do i just treat it like a diary and write all the weird shit i think, then pretend someone out there, somewhere, might actually care about it?

... seems to be the deal with most social media i guess. i don't know why this is stumping me so much.

on a related note, if you're actually reading this then we're all doomed as a species.

http://www.myspace.com/superalixtroniii

i don't just do bad drawings  (all in the same pose, it seems i.e. one bendy arm, one down by their side) - i also make wonkey, repetitive, out-of-time music with poor production values! check it out! (unless you're on a laptop - some of the bass range is pretty low)

diatribe.

a little animation i made about a year ago to go with a remix i did of 'twice' by little dragon. my mate said it was 'scary but cute - like those weird old russian cartoons i used to watch as a kid, growing up - in the cellar.'

i might have made that last bit up.

some flyer thing i designed for my mates. basically just put their heads on dogs... cos that's how i roll.